studying is genuinely hard -putting up all your priorities, setting aside those things that would interfere your studies, coping with the different attitudes of people you encounter and meet everyday, and all sort. and for almost 14 years of studying, I've been through such kind of difficulties. there are times when I wanna give up, but there are lot more times when tears would just flow from my eyes because I can't do something. so sad. but as always, triumphs would always come after defeats...
so many words for introduction... but, here's the true story...
since elementary, I used to belong in the cream of the crop. i used to be one of the honor students of the class, not to brag of. i maybe not that an achiever compared to my brothers and sister -in terms of medals, trophies, plaques and certificates they've received. i envy them for being math wizards, musicians, and awardees of different awards. i envy them because students and teachers know them for the honor they brought to our former school. and i envy them because i don't excel that much in their fields, and i haven't received many awards like them, and i was being compared at times.
well, it may hurt a bit but thinking of the little achievements i received is enough for me to be proud of myself, though it is just nothing compared to what others have achieved. and this is the reason why i'm pursuing hard now in college. i joined different orgs, joined some contests and grabbed any opportunities. it gave me satisfaction and happiness. but, fate will not give it to you at all. when i was in first year, i was given a grade of 3.0 in history [many of my classmates were also given the same grade]. and, having a 3.0 means that you can not be qualified to be a cum laude anymore. DISQUALIFIED. unfortunately, i was one. that time, i realized how wronh i was for taking things easily and i regret, for i know that i don't deserve the grade. history was one of my favorite subjects back in high school and i didn't think that History would be the stumbling block in my dream of graduating with honors. waah!!! i can't be a cum laude anymore, and why would i still continue to strive hard right? hah! that was the wrong thinking i had before. but then, i can't barely leave what i have learned to do-to study... so, i just did. luckily, for the small efforts i exerted, i became dean's lister, president's lister, and scholar of course. last recognition day, medals and certificates were given to the college's TOP SCHOLARS and i was truly proud i'm one. i was very happy then. not only for what i have received, but also for seeing my classmates and friends happy. i was also glad that many of us received that award and it made me happy more that what we gained would earn points for us in our aim to become the MOST OUTSTANDING CLASS OF THE YEAR next year. thanks a lot to my proffesors, classmates, friends, super friends, tribu and inspiration-if there is- for making my 3rd year life happy and complete, hehe...
truly, when God closes a door, He opens a window. we may not reach everything we want. we may not have anything we like. but, God will always provide and give what is best for us, of course, in the right time. he will always crown our efforts with success...
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